By Bonnie Brown

Columnist

Several years ago, I admitted to my readers that I had begun the habit of talking to myself. Not in a lecturing way, just muttering aloud as I went about my day. I remind myself of my “to-do” list.

It might go something like this: “I need to remember to pick up the dry cleaning.” Or if I happened to be doing laundry, I might announce—only to myself—that I need to spray a stain before plopping the shirt into the washing machine. Or make sure the crockpot is turned on. I even talk to plants or other inanimate things.

We all talk to our pets. And they listen. Our little dog Carly thinks I’m a brilliant conversationalist. I have noticed that I’m particularly gabby when doing things around the house.

When I’m out shopping, I tend to keep a running “discussion” about certain things such as rude drivers, the ill-conceived design of a store layout, as well as scolding impolite shoppers, all the while reminding myself not to forget certain items. I have even given myself pet names during my “conversations,” like Bonnie-Boo, Bon-Bon, Lady, etc.

Please note that I’m generally quiet in my running discourse of whatever I’m engaged in at the moment. I try not to draw attention to myself. It’s just an exercise to keep me on task. I often find myself rehearsing and vocalizing what I would like to say in certain circumstances, or what I SHOULD have said!

You know, when you walk away from a situation wishing you had said “that” instead of remaining silent or saying what you did say. As I’ve grown older, I’m more likely to express what perhaps should have remained an unspoken thought.

My family hasn’t really noticed or are even aware of my habit of talking to myself because I am usually alone when I have these conversations. For a brief time, I began to think that perhaps I was half a bubble off plumb—you know, lost contact with the mother ship, my cornbread wasn’t done in the middle, my fiddle’s not in tune, so to speak.

So, I decided to research and self-diagnose my condition. Much to my relief, there are many others who have this condition known as “self-talk” and is a common and natural behavior. It’s generally considered healthy and can serve to include emotional regulation, reducing stress and anxiety while promoting a positive outlook in challenging situations.

The sort of fake it ‘til you make it approach. In psychology, self-talk is considered part of “metacognition” which is thinking about thinking. Just a simple explanation that I’m willing to accept that I’m not crazy.

My research further indicates that we all talk to ourselves, though usually silently. We silently self-talk to contain an emotion, clarify a situation, and focus on the task at hand. For example, I often cry at movies and weddings, so I will silently self-talk to distract myself and try to control the bubbling up of emotions, so I don’t melt my make-up off my face with a torrent of tears.

Silent self-talk helps us focus on a task, much like the way a small child talks to herself through tying her shoes.

So don’t be shy about having a conversation with yourself. It will likely be beneficial in many ways, and you can be assured that at least one person is really listening to what you say. You’re not crazy—you are a soliloquist!