By Bonnie Brown
Columnist

Remember the article from Cosmopolitan Magazine many years ago that said you could let your man watch you brush your hair, but never let him watch you brush your teeth?  

It occurred to me that I had no idea what I looked like brushing my teeth. I am usually leaning over the bathroom sink, just brushing without a lot of thought as to the motions or what it must look like.  

I know I do repeat from side to side, front to back but I wasn’t fully aware of that until I gave it some thought while engaged in this oral hygiene ritual.

Tom and I were watching a movie a few nights ago that included a scene where there was a mother and daughter brushing their teeth just before bedtime.  

Nothing remarkable about the scene except I found myself watching as they both seemed to almost be synchronized in their brushing movements. Unlike when I brush my teeth, there was no foam dripping from their mouths. Only seemingly measured movements. Probably due to movie toothbrushing standards.  

I’m not sure why that Cosmo article stuck with me. With short hair it takes me only a minute to run a comb through my hair so brushing didn’t apply to me, so I couldn’t fall back on that feminine ritual. I do remember that I had long hair until midway through first grade. 

 I was very tender headed and that’s why my mom tired of brushing my hair trying to get me ready for school while I squirmed and fretted. Consequently, my hair was short before the start of second grade. So, it appears that long, sexy hair was not destined to be mine. I cut my own hair and curl and style my own hair mainly because I remain very tender headed.

You’ve seen it often in the movies where the lovely lady is seated before her makeup vanity brushing her hair with intentional long strokes. And she might undo her “updo” with a slight shake of her head just before the brushing ritual.  She is often blonde but not always. I don’t recall seeing toothbrushing in movies that has the same sensual effect as the hair brushing does.  

Could I possibly accomplish something similar in the toothbrushing department? I suppose it is the frothing, foamy exhibition of thorough brushing that might detract from the sex appeal. And what if there’s the added dripping water/spit that accompanies the brushing? Not sexy for sure.  

Can toothbrushing be sexy, I wondered?  

I decided to try watching my toothbrushing technique in the mirror. Bad idea. First, there’s the added issue of toothpaste possibly and quite likely launching toward the mirror, with spatters to clean later in case I’m too close. 

Then there’s the distraction of actually getting the brush placement just right if I’m so concerned with trying to look sexy. And I clearly need to slow the process because I usually race through it. I’m practical to a fault. Now why did I pursue reviewing my tooth brushing technique I ask myself. No answer except for the Cosmo quote.  

I have decided to abandon perfecting a sexy toothbrushing technique. It simply cannot be done and be sexy. Even in the movies. Cosmo was right!