Last week I wrote about the dad of my then Scottish fiancé praising my driving in Scotland and England and to this day how much that meant to me … and in reflection of my entire life, few people have ever really encouraged me or told me job well done and I remember who they were then and now … what about y’all?

As a behaviorist and just observer of people, if I notice someone doing a good deed above what they needed to do or even if it was within their job description, I tried to go out of my way to say, “well done.”  But sometimes it was from a distance, didn’t see the individual later to tell them, or just didn’t say anything … but believe this warped world would be in much better shape if we all reached out to one another more often and said, “good job, thanks, well done.”  

It was especially important to me working with our swell students on the Ole Miss Campus to reach out to them and others – like our wonderful custodial staff…ever see them in a group laughing?  If I noticed a student walking toward me with a long face, I made it point to say, “It’s going to get better,” or “Cheer up,” or “Have a swell day,” or “Well done!” 

So – WELL DONE, y’all!!  With all the pandemic stuff – masks, restrictions, vaccination requirements, school and life adjustments, scarcity of items in stores, high prices, now petrol prices souring et al, you’ve handled it swell.  

Regardless of the last couple of tough years, just everyday life morning to night is tough even when things are going “okay,” but bloody hell, with everything upside down, you still managed to keep things in order at home, work, kids fed and okay, significant other happy, pets taken care of and did so with a smile on your face and positive attitude…how’d you do it?

If all you did was projected onto a large stadium screen, others would be amazed at your strength, discipline, fortitude, work ethic, ingenious solutions to difficult problems, ability to help others when you were tired, not feeling well, and needed help yourself, while maintaining your composure, humor, when you felt like quitting – but few notice or care…you’re ok.

Many times you were stressed, sick, hurting, depressed, pushed to your limits, putting one foot in front of the other, so overwhelmed that you just had to stop, rest your mind, body and regroup…but you did it – kept going, head on your shoulders, pushed on while encouraging those around you, keeping your house looking neat when no one ever comes to visit because you do it for you, your own high standards and it makes you feel better and in control of something.  Hang in there if you’re alone, broken or no relationship – Oxford is Camelot, but not the dating capital of the world…you’re ok. 

No one sees you after a tiring day at work having to go to the store to get stuff, kids crying, screaming, impatient or noncaring significant other, not enough money to pay bills, never going out to just have fun, got to maintain the car, faced with a non-working furnace, air conditioner, toilet, fridge on the blink, lights out, vacuum cleaner clogged, yard needs mowing, mower broke, adult children, siblings, “friends,” others not talking to you, knot in your stomach every day going to work because co-workers/supervisor were raised by wolves, death of family, friends, weather issues, and just when you could relax – TV cable is out, iPhone wouldn’t work, and there’s no bourbon, beer, or wine…but you are so okay, you just laugh! Well done.  

Perhaps the toughest of all is to be wrongfully judged by others who truly don’t know you and don’t care to know you.  But because you pray to only do God’s will, raised by a swell mom and dad, great family, who although they might not have praised and encouraged you, were honest, good people who loved you and has enabled you now to lift up others. Well done.

For me, by praying for God’s will to be done – then where I am is exactly where God wants me to be and by letting things just happen His way, stuff usually turns out fine…as long as I keep from trying to take control – and by praying for those who hurt me, not thinking evil of them, gives me peace, along with going to daily Mass, cat Jag, three sons…I’m ok -whew!

Doing a paradigm shift of my wee brain also helps – i.e., having a positive attitude every day, not negative…you know, “self-fulling prophecy;” if you think you’re going to have a bad day, guess what?  And, by starting each day with trying to find at least three people to help – if that’s just letting someone into the traffic stream ahead of you or saying good morning with a smile to folks, enables the brain shift and you will feel the swell change.  And yes…your mother was right!

So, WELL DONE YOU OXFORD WONDERFULITES & PEACE OUT – you’re OKAY and lots of folk care about you!  

 

Steve is an Oxford resident, worked on Campus, received his Ph.D. in Counseling from Ole Miss, and can be reached at sstricke@olemiss.edu.