Bonnie Brown

By Bonnie Brown

Columnist

I can honestly say that I have cousins by the dozens.  My father was one of 9 children, and my mother was one of 5 children.  You have heard it said that cousins are your shared histories.  So very true.

One of my cousins passed recently.  We live in different states and haven’t been in touch much over the last several years.  I don’t really know his children well at all.  And I can’t say that this cousin was my favorite cousin.  He was 10 years older than I, so I remember a lot of teasing and all.  He was a good guy, a hard worker and loved his wife and family well.  His obituary stated that his retirement was filled with health, happiness and the simple joys of life.  That must give his family some peace.  I’m certain his passing has been very difficult for his wife.  They were high school sweethearts and married in 1961.  They had 4 children.   

One thing about their marriage that I remember is a “Belling” that I attended with my parents.  For those of you who don’t know what a Belling is, you might be more familiar with the term “Pounding.”  Shortly after their wedding, the Belling took place.  It consisted of my parents and many other family members showing up at their home, tooting their car horns, banging pots and pans or other noise makers.  I think the intent was to interrupt their honeymoon period and to deliver gifts.  I don’t recall much of it since I was 10 and it didn’t make a lot of sense to me.  But it was certainly a celebration for the participants, if not for the bride and groom.

A Pounding is a bit different from a Belling from what I understand.  A Pounding is attended by family and friends bringing items to stock the newlywed’s pantry.  So, you might show up with a pound of flour, sugar, salt, coffee—you get the idea.  Again, a Pounding was a celebration of the marriage and a gathering of well-meaning participants.  Since I’ve only attended one Belling and never a Pounding, I can’t speak to the particulars of these celebrations other than it was a well-intended gathering, the timing of which was up to the celebrants, not the newly-married couple.  And it provided practical contributions to the couple’s larder and usually a very raucous, festive event for family and friends.  

I have read about another practice called Shivaree, from the French charivaria, in much of the central U.S. and Canada.  This was used to mean simply “a cacophony” or “a celebration.”  From what I’ve read, if your ancestors got married on the frontier, sometimes the married couple was kidnapped and paraded through town or dunked in a horse trough and abandoned in the countryside.  Sounds like that’s where hazing originated.  

As we age, I think we catalog special memories to be enjoyed by whatever prompts the remembrance.  Of course, life also provides sad events that are part of our personal history.  But, I suppose I tend to focus on the happy occasions.  Weddings stand out to me too as I always think of them as happy moments in time not only for the bride and groom but also for the guests.    

So, what are the chances that any of us will be invited to a Belling, Pounding, or a Shivaree?  Not likely, but if you get the chance, by all means go with bells on — literally!  

Rest in peace, Cuz!