By Bonnie Brown 

Columnist

Why are we less civil these days than in the past?  I really don’t know what to make of this.  Why and when did we begin to treat one another with disregard rather than respect and politeness?  We as a nation used to exercise good manners and kindness as a matter of everyday interactions.  For instance, I would slow down to allow another vehicle to merge onto the highway.  I would be respectful of the rules of the road and not try to get ahead of the vehicle in front of me at all costs.  But these days, it has almost become a game of sorts to get ahead regardless of the possibility of a crash.  And to be quite honest it is downright rude to ride my bumper.  

Does this lack of civility occur because parents don’t teach their children manners?  I remember as a child, our mother was always on us about good manners.  I remember her saying that children should be seen and not heard.  We certainly weren’t supposed to act out when others were present.  We were to respect our parents and elders.  Our mother expected my brothers and me to get along.  When we fussed with each other, she made us hug it out.  Imagine!  

Just as I have always done, I hold the door for someone behind me as I enter a place of business and often offer a greeting or at least a smile.  However, this act is rarely reciprocated.  I have opened the door for others who merely pass on by without any acknowledgement whatsoever.  Have we become so single-minded that we ignore one another? Have we become so engrossed in our own lives that we fail to recognize the existence of others around us?

I read that the pandemic made people feel bitter and aggressive.  Why?  It’s during that time that we humans should have felt more concern and compassion for our fellow human beings.  But it seems the reverse is true.  Were we trying to protect ourselves from the scary stuff that was going on? 

And talk about scary stuff, you can’t turn on the local newscast without hearing about guns being used by youngsters and adults alike to solve disagreements or to intimidate and bully others.  Why do they resort to gun play to solve a disagreement when a conversation might have worked to bridge the gap?  A recent news story told of an 11-year-old girl who stabbed a 10-year-old girl at school after a verbal altercation escalated with threats.  Imagine!  This took place at an elementary school.  

How we conduct ourselves whether in the company of our family or among strangers is indicative of how our world has become tolerant of bad behavior.  Does it take a natural disaster to effect feelings of concern, kindness, and comfort to our neighbors?  Why can’t we exhibit these feelings of compassion and humanity each day in all situations?

Has technology and social media created barriers among us?  We all have smartphones but rarely use them for conversation.  Does the lack of personal communication and increasing anonymity play a role in today’s incivility?  And what about the media?  The more disgusting a headline is, the more it is repeatedly blasted across our newscasts.

Let’s hope for a kinder, gentler world.  Let’s be neighbors and exhibit kindness.  Perhaps it would be contagious.