By Steve Stricker

Columnist

Writing this on the birthday of my beautiful mother, Get, February 6th – my forever, Valentine

Psst – Hey guys, crawl out from under your loser rock and wake up!  Friday is the 14th of February, two days away from, AKA, Valentine’s Day! You can procrastinate about many things, paying bills, homework, chores, replacing the front swivel ball assemblies on your classic 60’s Land Rover, dying – but you cannot screw up giving your significant female a swell Valentine gift because she greatly deserves it after putting up with you!

Unlike Christmas, a manufactured retail economic rip-off and most every other gift-giving scenario where there is at least an equitable exchange of gifts, male/female – Valentine’s Day is a faux ‘holiday’ bust where the male is expected, no demanded, to express “love” for their significant other with an over-the-top gift, i.e., more like a trial, pass/fail as to how significant was that male gift, love, to said female; so very wrong, but is what it is. 

It’s been a “minute” as they say, more like a month, since, mostly by choice, I’ve had a “Valentine” in my life.  As soon as I flipped my calendar to February, immediately took a pen and crossed out the 14th.  But wait!  I’m a behaviorist, had a long talk with me over an expensive glass of bourbon, did a paradigm shift, gestalt thinking, and now look forward to this day.  How?  Please continue reading….

It matters nay how long said relationship has existed with female from just instituted to involved or married 25 years, if the man individual does not perform to some unwritten, unspecified, traditional expectations ($$) said relationship culminates in male slumbering on couch, in “doghouse, or done!” It’s lose-lose for the male! The female can do noting and receive a “Get out of jail free pass,” or do anything, a bag of popcorn, and be granted adulations.

This is one of those holidays that the male has to, must do, dig down, cave in, suck it up, pay up like a house mortgage payment, and just get through the blooming, loving, “romantic”  crap day!  Who said you can’t put a price on love?

Listen to me guys, stick your manhood where the sun never shines – you cannot wait until you get off work Friday, February 14, make a mad dash to Kroger, Walmart or wherever, buy a bunch of picked over faded flowers, giant stupid teddy bear that no woman wants, has room for, or BS double-decker box of candy that no one else wanted. 

One of my favorite things is being in Kroger to watch the stupid smile on the face of a guy that, looking for admiring glances at the checkout counter, with wilted flowers that whew, he made it.  Wrong, you are dead meat dude, best that you did nothing and just admit that you are a major loser, forgot, beg mercy, and save the money!

The exact origin of Valentine’s Day is perhaps more myth and legend than fact.  The most popular tradition is associated with Saint Valentine, a priest who lived in Rome in the third century when Emperor Claudius II banned Christianity, and Valentine was arrested when he refused to worship the pagan Roman gods. 

Emphasizing that this is an  unfair “holiday,” during his imprisonment, St. Valentine is said to have healed the blind daughter of his jailer, and before his execution wrote a letter to her signed, “From your Valentine” as a farewell to her.  He was beheaded on February 14 in the year 270 – just like you last-minute losers.

Okay guys, I say some of this out of total envy with no lady in sight or mind since broken engagement with Scottish fiancée in 2011 that you are in a relationship and would give anything to be searching in desperation for that last minute gift to offer my significant other this Friday…well, not a procrastinator and would never wait until the last wee bit, but….

To me, the best description of love is found in “Corinthians 13.”  You know it.  As you think about the person you are currently involved with or a previous relationship.  Does this scripture describe how you feel, or felt, about each other?  If not, it probably isn’t love, wasn’t love, but something else. Love is, as Corinthians 13 defines, unconditional! It is accepting each other totally, flaws and all.

PS: Guys – one of the best gifts is to have a Florist deliver a great bouquet of flowers to her place of employment with a balloon announcing your love for her – oohs and awes from jealous female co-workers. Just send your bourbon thanks to me here at home. Best wishes, Happy  Valentines Day to all y’all.

Steve lives in Oxford and has his Ph.D., in Counseling from Ole Miss.