By Les Ferguson, Jr.

Columnist

 

I live with a fantastic woman. She is simply a phenomenal partner in life and ministry; yes, she is my wife. 

We have a fascinating, if not crazy, history. When we met, I was in college, and she was in high school. Becki was at my house most weekends when I came home. She was the best friend of my oldest little sister. I didn’t pay much attention at first, but at some point, my eyes opened, and I saw her. It was like, wow! 

Did I say wow? Why yes, yes, I did. Feel free to add several more wows.

Even though we lived in the same county, our homes were 45 minutes apart. We spent much time sitting on a front porch swing at her parents’ house. Truthfully, I was smitten beyond belief. Ultimately, we ended up dating for more than a couple of years. Eventually, we went through a breakup — get back together — breakup period that saw us go our separate ways. 

I tease that I joined the US Navy to get away from her, and there is some truth to that. She also likes to remind me that I saw the world because of her, and I should show my gratitude. There’s truth to that, too. 

Life often takes us in directions we never imagined. For me, it was a real-life nightmare resulting in the loss of my first wife and our second-born son. I’ve written a lot about that in different venues. Suffice it to say, the aftermath of that criminal tragedy left me a wreck. I feared I’d never find my way to something good and wholesome again. 

My dad would be quick to tell you that rekindling that long-ago love with Becki saved my life. Who am I to argue that point? At this rate, we’ve been married almost thirteen years, and it feels like a lifetime, but only in the sense of a tremendous blessing. 

However, it hasn’t been all sugar and spice. We both came into a new relationship with the bumps and bruises of life. We each brought a passel of boys on both sides to form a blended family. We had growing pains and hardheadedness on every side. But love persevered, and for the most part, we’ve experienced smooth sailing. 

Why do I tell you this? Because I wish everyone could have a Becki — not my Becki, mind you, but a Becki of your own. I wish everyone could have a beautiful soulmate who makes life a joy. 

But even when you get a Becki like I did, it still takes effort to make it work. It means letting go of selfishness, having the right priorities, and living in gratitude. It means seeing the very best in the other. It means learning how to say I’m sorry. It means valuing the other more than life itself. It means knowing how actual love acts. 

Maybe you’ve got a Becki now. Honor her. Cherish her. Live a life of appreciation and gratitude.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs‬ 31‬:10‬ NIV‬‬)