By Steve Stricker
Columnist

My base counseling theory is Reality Therapy by William Glasser – in an extremely small nutshell, what has happened to us in the past is important, but we can’t change the past and must focus on issues here and now.

In the early 80’s I had the immense honor of spending an entire day in sessions with Dr. Glasser at Southeast Missouri State University (SEMO) met him person, shook his hand (whew). As a huge introvert, I lived within myself. Knowing how powerful the brain was – think about lifting a finger, it lifts, I turned it inward to pains and hurts and insecurities to heal them. Recall Glasser saying about the mind that we even choose to headache!

At night, when “those” thoughts crept into my mind, I could shut them off; control my heartbeat, saying my Rosary, being very visual, was right there with our Lord and the mysteries of Joyful, Sorrowful, Glorious, Luminous, and felt the blood drip on me when he was crowned with thorns.

Daddy died weeks before my freshman year in college pulling me even deeper within myself fearing being hurt again, kept everyone an arm’s length away, further developing my “gift” a radar, of knowing instantly if meeting a new person could hurt me – it was almost scary! Later, working with university students: “do you know me?”

Flash forward to Monday, July 22, on way to Mass, unusual shortness of breath. For over a year had been coughing and wheezing at night. Self-diagnosis, lung, throat cancer, symptoms of alcohol. After Mass straight to Dr. Mark Campbell, Cardiologist and made appointment. Thursday, July 25, anniversary death of my dad, July 25, 1964, knowing my heart was okay, cancelled appointment with Dr. Mark and made one with GP Dr. Castle for lung X-Ray and friend Dr. Ford Dye for a throat scan – whew, both clear.

In Ford’s office the walls in the room I was in were lined with framed Duck Stamps and other things. One was the 1981 Mississippi Duck Stamp. Ironically, living in Southern Missouri, in 1981 as a tribute to my dad, I entered my acrylic painting of my dad’s things into the Missouri Duck Stamp competition. No, sadly, should have but didn’t win.

It included, daddy’s Remington Model 10, “clacker” .12 gauge pump 30″ full choke barrel shotgun (not a dove gun) that I used to down my first flying dove, on one of my first dove hunts…with the then Game Commissioner of Missouri, hero, father figure Robert G. Delaney, “Mr. D.” kneeling right behind me (sweat)…dad of my then girlfriend Lee who could shoot circles around me – whew, talk about pressure!

“Just use the barrel to come up from behind the dove, keep moving with it, as soon as the head is blocked out, shoot and keep swinging.”

Crap, a dove came flying directly at me. I was blinking my eyes, making faces trying to scare it off but it kept coming. So, did as Mr. D. instructed, and that bird fell right in front of me! “Well done Steve, can’t kill them any deader than that.” Whew. One of the best moments of my life.

Also in my painting, was Daddy’s hunting coat and hat, duck call, three .12 gauge shells, and a Mason duck decoy, borrowed from my hero father figure, Art Province, who was a District Missouri Game Supervisor (Game Warden). Later, now a really good wing shot, Mr. Art and I hunted doves with our Winchester Model 42, .410 pump shotguns – “Just wait a little longer for them to get to you.”

One day dove hunting with Mr. Art, limit 12, I had 11. Two doves flew by me, I shot once and downed both of them! Art, laughing, came over and said, “let’s see, 11, 12, 13…Great shot!”

My painting hangs on my great room wall just above my TV where I just lift my eyes to feel all those wonderful memories. And Steve – “You have no throat cancer!” Whew. Thanks, Ford!!

Lungs and throat clear, my main concern, not wonderful bourbon, let my mind (so powerful) relax, stopped dwelling on it, let go, and wheezing, shortness of breath, immediately stopped.

Steve is an Oxford resident, worked on the Ole Miss Campus, and received his Ph.D. in Educational Psychology
(Counseling) from The University of Mississippi.